I Turn 45 Today

PERSONAL · LIFE COACHING · SPA METHOD

By Daniela Fukumothi · June 2026

I turn 45 today.

And I have to say — I just love being in my mid-forties.

Up until then, I was always searching. For improvement, purpose, for direction, for a version of myself that felt like home. I worked hard, did good work, and expected that to be enough. To be recognised. To feel fulfilled. It wasn't, and learning that was painful. I was mostly living on automatic and waiting for answers to come from the outside.

During my thirties, I kept searching for clarity while struggling with infertility and loss — life had little colour.

Motherhood finally happened in 2017. I felt blessed when I got the gift I was desperately waiting for. Life became colourful — but overall something was slightly off. Searching for a meaningful life and improving myself became even more priorities. Becoming a mother quietly shifted my priorities — and my tolerance for anything that didn't serve them. I had this quiet, persistent feeling that I was missing something. Not dramatic. Not a crisis. Just... disconnected. Like I knew the steps but couldn't find the music.

The tools and answers I needed during my lows existed. I just hadn't found them yet.

And then — through a combination of circumstances, a pandemic, and what I can only describe as life pointing me firmly in the right direction — I found them. Coaching. NLP. Emotional Management. Positive psychology. Neuroscience. Happiness research. One course leading to another, one book opening three more.

I loved learning before — but this was different. This wasn't collecting information. This was finally understanding myself.

And in that process, something I hadn't been looking for quietly arrived.

Peace.

Not the absence of difficulty. Just the ability to be with myself — fully, kindly, without judgment. To become, as I like to say, my own best friend.

But here is the part that surprised me: the tools only worked when I used them on myself first. There was no fixing what is outside without looking within.

That was the real discovery. Not one magical answer — but the understanding that I was the one that needed attention and care. And once I started there, everything else began to find its place.

At 45 I feel in harmony with myself. I am calmer. More grounded. Kinder to myself. I have a relationship with who I am that I genuinely cherish. I use the tools I learned — daily, consciously, imperfectly — and they work. Not because I am fixed. But because I keep choosing to work and grow.

My child teaches and motivates me to keep improving, to keep getting to know myself. I know my role is not to mold him into who I think he should be. It is to watch him. To see who he is becoming. To be his safe haven while he figures that out — and to give him the tools to bounce back when life, inevitably, knocks him sideways.

I am someone who has learned that saying no is a yes to myself. That choosing discomfort over resentment is an act of self-respect. That you cannot pour from an empty cup — and that filling your own cup is not selfish, it is the whole point.

I do meaningful work now. I work to have relationships that feel healthy and real. I learn something new every day and I plan never to stop.

I believe that one person finding peace with themselves creates a ripple. And ripples reach further than we think. That is why I do this work. That is why I built the SPA Method.

Not because I have all the answers. But because I found some tools that changed my life — and I cannot imagine not sharing them. This is my contribution so we can all feel empowered, comforted and loved.

So here I am. 45. Grateful. Grounded. Still growing.

The thirties were the search. The forties gave me the compass.

I can't wait to see what comes next. 🏠

Happy birthday to me. And thank you for being here.

With love, Daniela

Enjoyed this? Next up: the glasses you are wearing — and how changing them changes everything.